- fred's garden
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shows on may 7 in charlottesville and may 9 in nyc coming right up!
some things happen in life that you can’t share with everyone. even in a personal newsletter, there’s a line between what stays private and what feels right to broadcast to the world.
right now, I feel compelled to reflect on one such moment: when my sense of structure, and what I believed I was building toward, shifted dramatically over the course of a couple of seconds. though the moment was gone in the blink of an eye, I’ve spent the days since reflecting—and re-reflecting—on the situation, my role within it, and how I want to grow from here.
and it’s been a really difficult period. not because I lack clarity, which is something I prioritize and value.
this shows up in my music, where I gravitate to the pure tonality of a nylon-string guitar and emphasize the pitch and musicality of my voice. clarity isn’t perfection—it’s resonance. that moment when something sounds like you meant it.
I love applying this mindset to photography as well—a discipline in which I find myself untrained and under-equipped, yet one in which that lack of context empowers me to search for my own viewpoint. I’m scanning to see and understand: “what is it that’s really going on here?”
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no, this new revelation is difficult because of the awareness I seek—because I can sense the truth about what is required of me to grow, evolve, and become the person I’m meant to be, and I’m scared to acknowledge it.
it’s miserable to face this truth, in some ways. it requires me to recognize the pain I feel now, but also the pain I’ve felt in the past and the difficulties wrapped up in overcoming it. the scars are still there, and often injuries are recurring. you hurt the same muscle twice, just as a factor of having gotten unlucky the first time.
but it’s also empowering to be able to consider my past with honesty, and most importantly for me, free of guilt. I’ve got respect for the person I used to be and the decisions I’ve made. that creates a platform that grounds me now and that I can count on to support me into the future. it’s something I’m grateful for, definitely, but even further it’s something that I want to foster and grow.
like a garden—like this garden.
with this newfound, or newly re-encountered clarity, I’ve been able to dial in my focus on what fulfills me, what I want out of life, and what will ferry me in the direction of my deepest hopes and dreams. you haven’t heard from me so much because I’ve been working. there’s a lot of work ahead still.
but more than ever, I feel conviction in the worldview I’ve worked hard to develop—in the garden I’m growing, inch by inch, row by row.